“Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”
I have found through 12 years of marriage and full time ministry that being a minister’s wife is a profound honor and privilege! Just the reality that we get to serve the Lord and His church and be a part of Kingdom-building stuff as a “full time job” amazes me… There’s nothing better! When I married my husband Brian almost 13 years ago, next month, we jumped right into our ministry journey together and the Lord has taken us on an amazing ride that neither one of us could have imagined. It’s definitely been crazy and fast paced, having lived in 4 states in those 13 years, but the one thing we’ve always done is allowed God to be the one to write our story!
As a minister’s wife, we all come into it differently. Some may have felt “called” to ministry or to marry someone in ministry, but others… not so much. Regardless of how you got here, the calling to do what we get to do is the same. God gave you to your spouse on purpose. He hand-picked you for the job because He knows as their helpmate that there is no one else more fitting or equipped to do it than you!
The “title” of being a minister’s wife is a God-given title and identity that we wear, but we always need to be cautious not to let it creep in and define who we are.
Being married to someone in ministry is rewarding yes, but if I’m honest, it can also be a lonely road at times. Ministry can be hard, it can get messy, it’s hard to find people who we can trust who don’t have some “agenda”, it requires a lot of our time. That’s why it’s crucial for those of us in ministry to base our security and identity in Christ and Christ alone! There are times when our role or season of ministry life will change and look different, but our identity in Christ should be founded not in the job title or position that our husband holds but in the never-changing identity of who He says we are and who He has called us to be.
A word of ministry advice that I’ve learned over the years is to let God protect and guard your heart through the journey. Let your husband lead in the calling God has called him to. Be involved, supportive, and present in his ministry, but remember that God didn’t intend for us as their wives to carry the load of the church – that’s his job and what God has called and equipped him to do. Our role is simply to love them well, encourage, pray for, and support them well in what God has called us to.
There’s no road map or perfect mold to being a minister’s wife. Just follow God, spend time with Him daily, and always be obedient and faithful in serving Him and your husband well.
Some of my favorite “ministry wives” resources:
“10 Things every minister’s wife needs to know” by: Jeana Floyd
“There’s Gotta Be More!” by: Donna Gaines
“Sacred Influence” by: Gary Thomas
“Anything” by: Jennie Allen
“In Our Shoes” a bible study for ministers wives by: Jennifer Landrith & Rachel Lovingood
“Jesus Calling” devotional by: Sarah Young
This post was written by Jennifer Mills. Jennifer is the wife of Brian Mills, and mom to McKenna and Parker. She is a speaker who has a heart for teaching God’s Word and is actively serving at Long Hollow Baptist Church in Hendersonville, TN where she is heavily involved in girls’ and women’s ministry. Jennifer has a passion for girls’ ministry and in investing in this generation. Through communicating the truth from God’s Word, her heart’s desire is to see girls and young women find their identity in Christ and to discover a passion for the God who has pursued and redeemed them.